i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”
hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue
BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER
"IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!" MEN SHOUT
"NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!" WOMEN REPLY
"I really don’t want to shower but I want to be clean" an autobiography
"Now that I’m in the shower I really dont wanna get out" a sequel
"Now that I’m out, I don’t want to put on clothes" the spin-off
"I’m sitting here in my towel and I must have showered 2 hours ago" the self help booklet
me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
classmate: wait, what's polyamory?
me: well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
professor: *overhears from front of class*
professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
me: *defensively* um, actually, no it's--
professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
professor: it should be polyerosy